Things That Creep Me Out!
Bugs
Now
wait, don't laugh just yet. I don't just run around flailing my arms when
I go outside cause the creepy little buggies are all over the place.
There's a very specific kind of bug I don't like: The sneaky little
bastard kind! I'm talking about the ninja-commando bugs that hide
somewhere with the sole intention of jumping out and scaring the crap out of
you. Example: Still half asleep, you walk into the bathroom and
start the shower. Eyes half-shut, you relish the hot (almost too hot)
water. As you open your eyes a little more, you see a little harmless
(yeah, right) spider about two inches from your nose. What was I saying
about still being half asleep? ::grumble::
Heights (?)
Ok,
now here's another one that isn't exactly just "heights" in
general. I think I'm OK with heights, it's just the falling part, or maybe
even the potential to fall, that makes my skin crawl. Example:
Recently, in Las Vegas, I was staying at the Luxor. From inside the suite,
I truly enjoyed the amazing view of the city and the mountains in the
distance. Outside the suite, there's a hallway that leads to the
elevators. At the end of the hallway is a glass wall that (since you're
inside a pyramid) looks into the middle of the hotel. As I got closer to
this glass wall, I could feel the floor behind me tilting. I don't mind
airplanes...in fact I enjoy the view, but put me on the edge of a cliff or an
overlook and I'm a mess.
Grates and drains and manholes! Oh
my!
I'd say this one is the closest
thing to an actual phobia I have. You know those grates on the
sidewalks? The access hatches or exhaust covers or whatever the heck they
are? I simply can't/don't/won't walk on them. I don't know if this
ties into the "falling" thing I mentioned in the previous section, but
I have mini anxiety attacks walking over these things. I recently went to
New York, which seems to be the breeding ground of these things. They're
all over the place! The worst part was wanting to go into Dean &
Deluca. The entire entrance was blocked by big steel plates on the
ground. Sure, they were steel, but it took just about everything I could
muster to go across them, even though I tightroped my way into the store walking
on the edges of two of the plates.
Water (sorta)
I
am not hydrophobic by any means. I do NOT, however, get into lakes or the
ocean any deeper than waist deep. Why? Because you just don't know
what's out there lurking in the deep, waiting on just the right moment to eat
you. Ever seen the cover of "Jaws"? THAT is what I
picture. Swimming along or whatever, while some absolutely huge (insert
aquatic hellspawn type here) swims up under me, licking its lips. Yes,
yes, I know it's stupid, but personally, I believe in the Loch Ness Monster,
Ogopogo, Champ, and all those other unsolved mystery critters floating around in
the lakes and rivers. They're there, I don't care if no one's found a
corpse yet; however, when they DO find a Loch Ness Monster or any other
prehistoric lake beast washed up on shore, they will NOT find my decomposing
body in it's stomach. 'Nuff said.
That is NOT the way into my bathroom!
Next
on the list of stupid things that freak me out...and yeah, this one is pretty
darn stupid and is getting close to the "too much information" area,
but I have to mention it anyway. If anything decides to take a tour
through my sewer system and somehow makes a wrong turn and ends up coming
through the drain in the toilet while I'm on it...I think I'll just have to die
right then and there. You heard those stories about the rats and snakes
and whatever else crawling up the pipe at just the right moment to scare old
Mrs. Jones in New York? You've seen that part of Porky's or Porky's II (I
forget which one) where Tommy Turner puts that king snake up the drain and Ms.
Ballbricker runs out of the john and up to the top of the bleachers with her
skivvies around her ankles, screaming bloody murder? Yeah, I know that's
not an image you want, but that would be me (if I didn't die first). I'm
serious.
More to come...maybe...